Jon and Kate plus 8-ADVICE

Say it ain't so. I just watched the season premier of Jon and Kate plus 8 season 5 and instead of seeing a cute happy family I saw a depressing,awkward, and fame hungry mom episode. Tonight I died a little. I have watched the grosselin family for the past 5 years. I can honestly say that I have felt a part of their family. They have changed so much. It's sad. Kate is so hungry for fame. I know it sounds like I am judging but let me ask you this... Why is it that she only wears sunglasses when she sees paparazzi? She is also always dressed to the "T" (whatever that means???) But honestly, even though she comes off as a you know what I somewhat feel her. She's a hustler. I'm a hustler. I like that.



Jon needs to chill and just let her make money. If he is unhappy he should have put his foot down the first day he met her. I've noticed that he started to put his foot down more and more once the seasons went by. But it was too late. Also, they should have just chilled at two kids. Jon got stiffed. oh well... now he really got stiffed (can you say child support????) man, that's more depressing then living with kate. So here is my last plea...say it ain't so jon and kate. Please call me and I will help you all out. I will offer free counciling. I know that I can get you all to love one another again. Don't do it for the kids... do it for me.

Advice part 2

So here's the deal. I am going to do this advice column for awhile until I get bored with it. Some say I have ADD. I disagree. I have MINUS. Multiple, intelligent, nonsense, under appreciated, Styles. I like to switch it up a bit. This seems a little planned out since this isn't really just me thinking aloud, but in a sense it is. I am going to answer these questions without thinking... I think that your initial thought is always the real way you feel about something. Unless you are drunk. Which I am not, Unless I am and I just don't know it. anyhow, here are your questions and here are my amazing answers.

Q. Do you think couples should tattoo each other’s names on themselves?

A. Yes. That's a brilliant idea. Honestly, I think if you made it mandatory to get a tattoo of the person you were dating then more people would not become players. The tattoo would show your next girl or boyfriend who you have been with. And you know how annoying those conversations can be. It would be a fun social experiment to try. I think people would really make sure that they were in the relationship for long run instead of jumping from one partner to the next.

Q. Should parents tell their kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up?

A. No. That's a lie. You should never tell your kids bunch of lies or talk to them like they are little kids. I can't stand baby talk. Ah boobie boobie boo.Stop that! That is annoying. Your kids are people. Start treating them like they are. you should tell your kids to start hustling or they will end up working at a job that they hate and life they even hate more. Make them dreamers but don't tell that dreams always come true.

Q. When should a young person start saving money?

A. Never. Saving Money should never be your focus. The problem with saving money is not saving money it's how you are spending it. If you spend more than what you have you go into debt. duh! so don't save. spend less.

Q. If cancer runs in one’s family and a genetic test can be done that would tell that person he/she has an 85% chance of developing that cancer, should he/she get the test done?

A. No. Living a life in fear is not living. I think a lot of people bring on their own sickness cause of fear or worrying. We are only on this earth for so long. Make the best of it.

Joey

Hopeless in Houston

SGD Chronicles

Did you hear the news? My band Stars Go Dim is going to be made into a new TV cartoon series called "SGD Chronicles ? I'm not kidding... This is for real! The director from the show HEROES contacted me last night and said he wanted to create a new adult theme cartoon based off our band and our members. I'm not really suppose to tell you what the show is going to be about since it's so preliminary but I can't do that to all my faithful followers. Promise you won't tell anyone. Ok. (Paragraph break for leo)

SGD Chronicles is about a band called Stars Go dim that travels all around the world playing gigs. While they travel to city to city , country to country they end up having to constantly save the world from evil terrorists. What people don't know about SGD is that they just don't sing pretty little love songs. Now way! They are trained assassins and are working for a top secret US operative. The band and the sappy love songs are a cover up for their true mission. To protect the world from Evil! Here is a quick sketch of us,



The ? mark guy is our drummer. As most of you know Lester Estelle is our drummer but, he has only played 2 shows with us. We usually have a hired drummer for every show. Right Now Chase Lovelace is our drummer. To come to think about it... His name would be perfect for this cartoon. That name screams show business!!!

Joey

Living the HGTV Dream!!!

Am I gay? I'm offended by that statement first off. Apologize. I'm sorry Joey. It's ok. but serious why would you ask such a question. Just because I watch HGTV 24/7 doesn't make me homosexual. Last time I checked being gay has nothing to do with how to design to sell or how to find your style with myles. HGTV is addictive. There's a part of me that wishes I was a decorator or a HGTV host. I get so pumped after watching an episode of Color Splash with David Bromstad. It just makes me want to paint every wall in my house a different accent color or match things in 3's. One night after a marathon of Deserving design I drove to Michaels ( it's an arts and craft store) at 11:30 pm. I was so mad that it was closed. I really wanted to buy some squared mirrors and create an art deco mirror piece in my living room. Gosh I wish I was rich. I would just buy tons of houses and decorate them. That would be the life. The only thing that makes me really mad about HGTV is the show Property Virgins. Have you noticed that every young couple on that show is filthy rich. So, what is your budget young couple? Well, we would really like to keep our budget around $300,00 to $400,000. The max would be a $500,000 but we might be a little tight. What! A half a million dollar budget? What do these kids do for a living? I have never met a 22 year old newlywed couple that have a budget that large. You know what other show that makes me mad is What is my house worth? That show is such a lie! Everyone's house in America is worth less than they paid for it. That show would make more sense if every episode just crushed people's dreams and was more of a reality show then a fabricated hunk of lies. So, John and Mary, What do you think your house is worth? Well, we were hoping it would come in around $580,000 so we can sell this home and buy our dream home in Colorado Springs. Well, I have some good news and bad news. The good news is that you have a lovely home and you have done a wonderful job remodeling it. What did you spend again? $45,000 in total upgrades. Wow! That's great! Unfortunately the bad news is that all of these upgrades were all for nothing and actually depreciated your home. Also, you will never get to retire cause you just lost your job and your house is only worth $10,000. Also, we found out that your dying. ok, ok, ok... now that's not funny, but it would be reality. It's really sad that our economy has gone to the pooper but is it really the end of the world? I have this saying... Forget the economy... I make my own economy. You got to be a hustler, you got to make moves. HGTV get's it. They completely are not appropriate for this current economy but they sell dreams. So I encourage you all to do the same. Become a dreamer. don't focus on how much your house is worth or how you don't make enough money. the truth is this... you'll never have enough money and your house is always going to come in a little low. Spend your energy on inspiring the world. That's what HGTV does for me. It inspires me to be a totally straight guy that would one day love to retire and remodel a kitchen. What's your dream?



THEY'RE FREAKING AWESOME!!! NO DUDE! YOU BOTH ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!! THE MOST FREAKING AWESOME COUPLE EVER!!!

Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace is scary. If you don't know who Nancy Grace is then consider yourself a very lucky person. She is an ex-lawyer turned TV host for a redundant news show called Cold Case. She never gives up on a news story. She has been talking 24/7 about the Tot mom for a year straight now. She always looks so mean and no matter what anyone says to her she can never be wrong. Put a mirror in front of her and she probably would never stop arguing with herself. She's scary. Every time I see her show on TV I quickly change the channel. Some people say that if you stare into her eyes for a long period of time you will explode from her death rays. Don't believe me? See for yourself

WARNING!!! DO NOT LOOK INTO NANCY GRACE'S EYES!!!

Just Say No to Mother's Day!!!!

Mother's day. What a wonderful day for mothers. A day dedicated to them. This is a day that mothers everywhere get to just sit back and let everyone else take care of them. How sweet. Honestly, I think Mother's day is overrated. It's so fabricated. We shouldn't have to designate a day just for our mothers. Think about it. That's not love. All mother's should protest this day. If a child or someone gets their mother a gift tomorrow, They should take the present and throw it away and then slap the child in the face. (Not too hard.... just a friendly snuff slap. I Don't want you all to go to jail.) Mothers, don't you see how wrong this day is? Look at it this way. Basically you are telling everyone in your life to mark their calendars every year in May to make a point to show you how much they love you. If you have to tell someone to love you or ask them to show you, is it love? So instead of mother's day let's shake it up a bit. Maybe pick a random day in the year to make sure you make a point to tell your mom how much you love her. It could be any any day. I'm picking October 14th. Why? I don't know why. It's the first day and month that came to my mind. But don't tell your mother when you are actually going to have mother's day. It will be a surprise. Every day your mother will wake up and wonder if it's mother's day. Life should be more about the random acts of surprise then a planned out , mapped out, schedule following, loveless, boring mundane, life that most of us live. So on this mother day, don't call your mom, don't take her out to lunch, don't buy her stuff from body works or a 1 hour massage. Nope, ignore her. If you really love her, you will.

Joey

JDUB Recap! Holla!!!

This will have to hold you over till I get back from a week long cruise to the bahamas. Hopefully I will get some really fun footage of me sleeping or walking. Have a great week followers! Your leader is going on a boat! Peace!